Urgh

Just. Fucking. Stop it.

Stop whining. Stop obsessing. Stop bitching.

JUST FUCKING TRY ALREADY!

I'm sick of your excuses, they're pathetic. Fuck that, they're not even proper excuses. They're not real. It's because you're lazy. Because it didn't work at first, you didn't get the attention you claimed you didn't want at first, you give up and go back to your old ways.

It's pissing me off.

I'm supposed to fucking like you, it's supposed to be programmed into me, but I can't. Every time it try to talk to you there's a niggling in the back of my mind reminding me of all the lies you've told, of all the stupid and pathetic things you've done.

I think I used to like you, some when, but now it's gone. Upped and left.

Maybe you wouldn't be so fat is you stopped eating all the crisps you do, the cake adn ice cream. Just fucking stop.

Maybe you wouldn't have so little friends if you actually tried. How do you think the rest of us get through the world? We fake it. All the time, no one's real, if we all saw who we really were than we'd hate each other. Imagine that, the entire human race, disgusted at what each other are, at what we've become. We're hideous so we hide it. Why don't you do the same? Suck it up and try to be fucking normal, I don't give a shit about what happened in the past, I know it's not helped who you are now, but you could at least try god damn it.

And maybe you wouldn't be so damn annoying if you stopped obsessing. Seriously. The only thing I can ever talk to you about is your latest obsession, I think it's a film right now. Just... there are other things in life for fucks sake. Other things to talk about, I don't like sitting there awkwardly as you go on and on about a certain person because that's the only thing you like.

It's just stupid.

You fucking fail.

I fucking fail.

You need to stop shouting, stop getting so pissy, stop getting so defensive, really, all we're doing is saying something, it doesn't mean anything and it's an innocent comment, there's no need to get so wound up about it.

Loose weight, if that's what you want, if you don't, don't. I don't care.

Try fitting in with society, I have to, no one knows what I'm thinking really. I could hate every person I know and no one would know. It's called pretending. Pretend you're in a play. A life long play in which you must be normal.

And stop obsessing! I don't care about Twilight. I read it, it was okay, it's not my favourite thing in the world. I don't have to have it on my mind constantly.





Yeah. You fail as a sister.

I fail even more.

I should try harder. But my patience has gone.

I'm a horrible person.

Huh...

Today just seems to be a day of blogging. Well, for the other two people I actually check the blogs of anyways... yes...

They're two rather nice people, whom may read this. May not, but, ya know, probably will.

I sholdn't even be doing this right now. I should be doing the English project that I have to present tomorrow and have had three weeks to do but haven't started it yet.
... I'll do it in my free tomorrow morning...

In the past week I've, once again, felt like a right bitch who leads people on. But hey-ho, he didn't seem to care. I hope. Ah well.

I really should actually... do something too. Rather than sit around, staring at a screen and waiting for somethign that really isn't that great to happen. Might write some more in the holidays, do some drawing, I haven't drawn anything in ages.

But knowing me I'll just be sat at my laptop, staring at the screan, waiting for someone else to entertain me rather than entertain myself.

Psht.

Oh, it's friday 13th tomorrow. Crazy. Me and Em'll probably end up slumped in my front room, maybe with a couple of other people, maybe not. But hey ho. Might just sit around and eat crap and not really care about it at the time, then worry about it a few days later when our skin comes up shit and we feel like crap for binging.

Em has more self control than me though, so I may be alone doing that...

Oooh, might get some nice ice cream...

Haha.

I should STFU now. Go to sleep because I can never get myself up in the morning. Oh woe is me.

Heh. Yeah, uhm...


So long and goodnight?

I feel...

replaced. erased. useless.
unable to hide anywhere.
everyone can see what i'm saying.
can't even hide on the internet.
now i feel like her. bitching on the net.
oh dear.


Everyone has someone better than me.

And now I feel selfish and self-absorbed just saying that.

But... still. It seems I'm only required from 9-4. Not even that.



if you think this is about you, it probably isn't.

Ahh

Day three of being snowed in.

That's actualyl a lie. Because I went out yesterday and the day before. But still.

Snow's kidna getting boring now. You look out the window and, oh, snow! Still. IT'S NOT LEAVING!!!

I may go crazy.
The white may blind me.
It's only a few cm's thick.
I'm over reacting.
I'm glad I don't live in Russia.
I'm bored.
I'm going.
Bye.